BigmosesSep 16, 2020 12:19 AM

 “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord,” says Proverbs 18:22. This is a popular scriptural verse that virtually everyone can recite but the question is “do we all get the real wife it talks about?” Instead of getting married and get the peace of mind, obtaining the favour as a reward for a good wife, it is the other story, why? Because men marry the wrong wives.

Let me tell you a fictional story of a man who is ripe enough to be married and he was getting tired of looking for a wife, but eventually, he made it to the alter. Few months into the wedding, some concerned brethren were expecting results like pregnancy, changing of shape into a better one, and the likes instead, shapes and look started declining every day and yet no conception. This caught the attention of people around him, which make them ask him the reasons for a sudden change in his life but all their effort to get the information proved abortive. His church pastor had to intervene, after some pressure mounted on him, he finally opens up to the pastor, that his wife is a snake but she had told him not to tell anyone, once he goes against her command he will be dead. After the interventions of the people of God, he was delivered, he confessed deceiving the pastor about his confirmation on the sister, he said he was carried away with her beauty and talent. Hmm, thanks to God who finished his deliverance, if he had not opened up to anyone till he died, what would have been his gain getting married. He was in rush, instead of waiting patiently and choose rightly.

Before choosing a woman, you should know what you want, what are you looking out for in a woman before you get married to her? Are you not carried away with those qualities which makes you forget prayers or careless about fasting? Yours might not lead to snake woman or someone possessed but when a bone is fixed to where it does not belong, it won’t fit it; it is either you force it to enter and have bruises or you remove it because it is not it’s place. 

I must say that there are lot of qualities a man should consider before taking any lady to the alter but, here are 8 (eight) most important qualities every responsible man must look out for if they must get the perfect match for the missing space in their life? 


This quality is scarce in the lives of nowadays ladies because all they want is a rich/wealthy man that will always spend on them and that is why they do all sort of crazy things to get what they want and thereby they lose their worth. 

This is the first quality a man should look for, I am not saying you should not spend on your lady or the Lady can’t demand from you, she can but you must try to know that her priority is not the money. When you don’t have, how does she reacts to the situation? Think about it.
This is another thing you must keep in mind, you must be able to trust her, she must earn your trust, if you can not trust her, please I’m begging you, don’t marry her. There are some couples that can not trust themselves not even on infidelity alone, some can not trust their partner almost in every aspect of their lives including their finances. I know of a couple, during their courtship they do hide money issues from each other, the lady will not tell her fiancé the exact money coming in, and you think it will not be a problem in the marriage? After getting married, the same ideology continues and I asked the lady why she is doing this, she said her fiancé will collect all the money once he knows she has such savings at hand. Brothers/husbands let us learn how to manage things, you are still in courtship and your eyes must not see her with money until you devour it all, do you think she will be faithful to you? Don’t you think she also has needs? Ask for her opinion, sit her down, talk, discuss money, if you borrow money from her return it because once you married, you will even do worse than you do during courtship. Be trusted and trust your partner, not only in the monetary aspect you have to build trust but in all aspects, let him/her trust you that you can never cheat on him/her even when there are rumours that may damage your home, earn the trust of your partner.

Every smart single man must understand that having a hardworking woman as a wife. “Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, little folding of hands to sleep: So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man,” says Proverbs 6:10-11. 
God does not like laziness, “whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might…Ecc 9:10”. As a lady, Anything you think you can do, do it, don’t be lazy, God can bless you through the work of your hands.

Look for a supportive future wife, not a liability. I am not saying not getting a job as a graduate is a laziness but every smart woman need to put in more effort in doing that. Remember, if she is hardworking, that is not an excuse for you to depend on her but just to support you, in fact, if she is working, you will receive such honour, if she is a doctor or lawyer, people will give you that honour even if you are a judge, the honour and respect will be there.
There is a friend who told me some things about his fiancée. He said that he hates ladies who are not courageous, he always wants a lady that will be bold and who can represent him when he is not around. If you own a firm and your woman cannot address your employees when there are issues to be addressed, because she is not bold enough, will you be happy about that? As a woman, no one will kill you for being bold and courageous to stand in for your husband even when he is around. You are helpmate, therefore, you must help him in all manners.

Once upon a time, a couple was travelling at night, they were ambushed in the middle of the night by armed robbers bearing sophisticated weapons, the husband seeing AK47 rifles for the first time, he began to shiver, he couldn’t speak, he was just looking. Then, the courageous woman he married come forward, he looked at those criminals in their eyes and said to them “my husband is not a normal person, he is a hunter that has killed a lot of weird animals, in fact, this is exactly the way he was shivering the days he killed Lion, Elephant and a Leopard, if you love yourselves, you better disappear before he kills you like he killed Anaconda snake yesterday”.

You need to see how armed robber throws away their weapons and run. That is the work of braveness, to help you when you are weak.

Ladies must be neat all the time, some ladies got body odour as a result of their nonchalant attitude towards neatness. Somewhen on period will not clean up properly, If you are on a period, you must bath at least twice a day, change your pads, use perfume to smell nice. Brothers are watching, they want good wives, not just some women who will bear them children. 

If a woman is not neat, how will she train up her children to be neat? You can only teach what you know because it is rare for children to do what you say than do what you do, they quickly adapt to what you do. Your children are watching you, it is is not until you talk to them, mere seeing you doing those things will make them learn from you. So what do you want your children to learn; the neatness of dirtiness? Always be neat.
 “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands” Proverbs 14:1. This scriptural verse emphasizes that woman must get the wisdom to build their homes and while women are doing this, what will be the duty of the men? They get understanding and knowledge to establish and fill the house. Women, know that you are the builder of marriage, if you build it well then it won’t fall apart but if not, falling apart may not be an exemption. 


I know it sounds funny but yes! You need a prayer warrior. Some men go to work very early in the morning and comes back late at night giving no or very little chance for prayer. Some men only go to church on Sundays because of the nature of their job but, the world we find ourselves is popularly believed to be a battlefield where fervent prayer is needed for survival. While you are away, she would be the one praying for you, praying for your success and victory. 
What I mean by prayer warrior is not someone who is a member of a prayer group in the church, but a woman who is ready to pray for her husband. As a smart person, you need a woman who will wake you up in the middle of the night and say “baby, let us pray”.

Oh! Do you think you can enjoy your marital life if your wife can’t cook a good meal? Oh! Do you think all beautiful slay mamas are good in the kitchen? Before you finalise your decision to marry her, make sure you test her cooking abilities or else, prepare to eat noodles and canned foods.
Apart from the stated qualities, as a smart person you need to pray fervently for God to choose for you, I pray you will not carry someone else bone in Jesus Name.
Hope this article is helpful and worth your time? 

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